Writings

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watermage856

Writings

Post by watermage856 » January 5th, 2016, 3:45 am

So its gone through some editing and what not. Thankz to the pplz here that helped. Any suggestions would be great. Other than that enjoy.


"To Tell a Person"

Something were spose to know?
Its not all figured out...
Its to much some times for a person to find a answer that
isnt really there.
Find it or not, its always hidden through thick clouds.
Day in and day out trying to reach up to something that what
you think is better?
And yes, other world looks better than.
Its just to much today, but tomorrow we go on.
No where else to go, so at least for today... if not a while
We will do.

So i worked on this poem a bit and re worked it so to speak. So here we go :D


To tell a person

Something we're supposed to know?
It's not all figured out
There is only so much a person can know
When answers aren't really there
They are never so simple
Never really easily pointed out
Answers before?
Trying to figure out for what is better?
Yet most don't know for sure
To tell a person
No answers really work
It's what is done that figures it out
Last edited by watermage856 on March 12th, 2017, 5:31 am, edited 1 time in total. word count: 207

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Cal-Hobbes
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Re: Writings

Post by Cal-Hobbes » January 5th, 2016, 5:05 pm

You know, one of the greatest things about art and writings is that they all speak differently to all people. With that being said, I felt like I was reading about someone trying to figure out life, and how they can feel hopeless at times.

This writing (poem?) has a very unfixed structure, which is fine for the most part, but I found it a little hard to follow and feel the flow of it when you broke a line (simply because it was too long and would look weird if it stayed as one line?).

I liked it, made me think about how I need to rely on God for life's problems, because I don't have all the answers. :thup:
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Re: Writings

Post by Crosser » January 5th, 2016, 6:23 pm

Cal-Hobbes wrote:You know, one of the greatest things about art and writings is that they all speak differently to all people. With that being said, I felt like I was reading about someone trying to figure out life, and how they can feel hopeless at times.

This writing (poem?) has a very unfixed structure, which is fine for the most part, but I found it a little hard to follow and feel the flow of it when you broke a line (simply because it was too long and would look weird if it stayed as one line?).

I liked it, made me think about how I need to rely on God for life's problems, because I don't have all the answers. :thup:


I don't like to piggy back off of an opinion, but I agree with pretty much what Cal said. Overall though, good job. :)
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watermage856

Re: Writings

Post by watermage856 » January 6th, 2016, 12:31 am

Cal-Hobbes wrote:You know, one of the greatest things about art and writings is that they all speak differently to all people. With that being said, I felt like I was reading about someone trying to figure out life, and how they can feel hopeless at times.

This writing (poem?) has a very unfixed structure, which is fine for the most part, but I found it a little hard to follow and feel the flow of it when you broke a line (simply because it was too long and would look weird if it stayed as one line?).

I liked it, made me think about how I need to rely on God for life's problems, because I don't have all the answers. :thup:


Thank you. I hope this does speak differently to everyone as its spouse to be about things we observe in others life view or even our own. For the most part you got it. Its about figuring out how to do and solve things rather than subjecting one self to a view point that one will hope to resolve the issue in and of itself. Rather than the person taking the initiative.
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NeoJabez
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Re: Writings

Post by NeoJabez » January 6th, 2016, 1:14 am

Taking the initiative is bad? I'm confused by your analysis.

Is it wrong of me to look at your poem from what I believe is your viewpoint? Meaning: I know you are an atheist, the words mean something quite different from your viewpoint than they do from mine.
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Re: Writings

Post by watermage856 » January 6th, 2016, 6:21 pm

NeoJabez wrote:Taking the initiative is bad? I'm confused by your analysis.

Is it wrong of me to look at your poem from what I believe is your viewpoint? Meaning: I know you are an atheist, the words mean something quite different from your viewpoint than they do from mine.



No just the opposite. Rereading what I wrote last night I see how that got reversed. Other than that I do not write in the view point of any world view and didn't even as a christian. As I stated before I want it to speak differently to everyone so it rings personally to them. Adding a tone of religion is your way of seeing it, and if ppl connect with it that way then all the better.
word count: 130

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