How about some input on a new project?

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The Winged Scribe
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How about some input on a new project?

Post by The Winged Scribe » December 29th, 2017, 5:08 pm

Scribe's at it again, ladies and gentlemen.

So, today, I began work on a new story that I've been bouncing around in my head for a number of years. I've written a short little prologue as a little sample of what I'm planning and working on, and I'd love some feedback. So, let me know if this would be something you'd read (even if you don't plan to), or if it seems boring, or poorly written, or what have you. Thanks!
Spoiler! :
I am a mindmage.

OK, well, actually, I’m what used to be called a mindmage. Now, there’s not actually supposed to be any, so there really isn’t anything that we’re called. I guess I’m just an outlaw. But I haven’t done anything wrong…I mean, like, seriously wrong…

…I think I need to start over.

My name is…unimportant. It’s best if I keep that to myself for now. Anyone associated with me exists in perpetual danger. I cannot allow my name to spread that plague to the innocent.

But I’m getting ahead of myself. As I said earlier, I’m what many people would call a “mindmage.” And since I’m not sure that whoever reads this will know what I mean by that, I’ll explain.

This is the land of Ainguldria. It is an ancient land, full of history, hope, and promise. But nothing is as famed about this land as its inhabitants. For thousands of years, the people of Ainguldria have been the benefactors of powerful energies that have enabled them to become more powerful than other mortal men. Much more powerful.

Records indicate that seventy or so percent of the entire population of Ainguldria have…“powers,” we’ll say, for lack of a better word. Inherent abilities that can be classified as supernatural. Most of them fall into one of three categories.

The first group is one that possesses powers to influence their own bodies. These “mutamages,” as they’re called, make up about forty percent of the total population of Ainguldria. Their powers, while singular in source, are various in application. Many possess super strength. Others have blinding speed. Some possess incredible healing factors, and some few have even learned to fly. Some, who have devoted their lives to the perfecting of their abilities and talents, have pushed themselves to being able to become nearly completely impenetrable. While their abilities are awe-inspiring to behold, they are generally humble and down to earth, holding regular jobs much like their non-empowered countrymen. Some of the most famed of the mutamages were soldiers and doctors—specialists in their related fields.

The second group is without a doubt the flashiest of the mages: the “metamages,” so called because of their connection with the metaphysical universe around them. Also called “elemental mages,” these people make up about twenty-five percent of the population. Their powers are regarded as more advanced than the mutamages, as they can influence certain objects or forces outside of their own bodies. Most of the metamages are linked to a certain “element,” such as fire, water, lightning, ice, air, or even the ground itself. As a result, the use of these powers can produce spectacular displays, leading to their fame and universal acclaim. Naturally creative and curious, many metamages have gone on to become famous artists. Others have pursued their gifts deeper than others, exploring the limits of their abilities as scientists and explorers. Incredibly gifted metamages have been known to be able to change the structure and composition of certain items. And more recently, a team of metamages managed to unlock the keys to the atom, allowing them to investigate the literal building blocks of our universe.

And that leaves the third and final group: the “mindmages.” Rare, at only five percent of the population, these mages are generally introverts, preferring to dwell on their own thoughts than to share their lives with others. However, they are considered to have the most potential of any of the mages, because like the metamages, they are able to change the world around them, but unlike them, they are not restricted to one particular element. Instead, they seem to be linked to spacetime itself, able to sense, interact with, and manipulate it to suit their needs. Their powers, while not usually observable, are astounding nonetheless. They have been known to possess telepathic abilities, such as telekinesis. Some have displayed the gift of clairvoyance, while others, called “dreamsmiths,” have shown the talent to enter another’s subconscious thoughts. In times past, some were even rumored to have been able to walk through time itself, receiving revelations from the future and seeing history play out right before their eyes.

But that was long ago. Now, they are outlaws.

And I am one of them.

I am a mindmage.
word count: 818
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Kesarahk
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Re: How about some input on a new project?

Post by Kesarahk » December 30th, 2017, 5:49 am

Spoiler! :
It feels like a meditative sketch of the possibilities of the finished work, the body of which may or not be included verbatim but will be evident in the structure of the final draft.
word count: 35
103

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FutronBob
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Re: How about some input on a new project?

Post by FutronBob » March 26th, 2018, 3:12 am

I agree with all of Kesa's fancy words. :) Seems like a great story concept, would love to read it.
word count: 20

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DynamiteTiger
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Re: How about some input on a new project?

Post by DynamiteTiger » March 26th, 2018, 9:37 am

Sorry I missed this. Agreed. Great concept and an intriguing prologue.
word count: 11
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